I saw a homeless guy who asked “Any change?”
I said “Nope, you’re still dirty and homeless”
We laughed and laughed, then he stabbed me

Renoirs (via renoirs)

greydelisle:

I thought Pitbull’s first name was “Featuring”.

heatoise:

*sees a dog*

me: holy shit

I wish 11:11 actually worked.
Renoirs (via renoirs)

unsharedmemories:

do you ever start a multiple choice question and just when you think you have the answer you see “all the above” or “none of the above” opinion and you start you question your entire life?

shota-pop:

when you genuinely like and care for someone but can’t express it without being weird

image

(Source: ghastley)

dysfunctunal:

omg does anyone else act high or drunk when they’re really sleepy 

brookeeverdeen:

*slides $10 to the government* please cancel school

(Source: brookeeverdeen)